Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
