I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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