I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
