I am spending my child support on dildos
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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