WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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