Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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