So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
