I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
