Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.