Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.

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  (440): Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved. http://tfl.nu/6524
  Replies (7) Good night (951) Bad night (6021)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.

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  (765): I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome. http://tfl.nu/mczw
  Replies (16) Good night (7996) Bad night (892)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.

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  (479): Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out. http://tfl.nu/6ock
  Replies (17) Good night (4107) Bad night (800)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.

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  (+44): I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating. http://tfl.nu/brik
  Replies (8) Good night (1115) Bad night (2552)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?

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  (606): can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid? http://tfl.nu/7vpt
  Replies (16) Good night (832) Bad night (4410)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.

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  (647): It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud. http://tfl.nu/qzq0
  Replies (7) Good night (1540) Bad night (1113)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.

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  (484): We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/e0nu
  Replies (9) Good night (1475) Bad night (582)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.

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  (907): It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome. http://tfl.nu/2baz
  Replies (8) Good night (2388) Bad night (451)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.

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  (519): No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area. http://tfl.nu/eioj
  Replies (3) Good night (705) Bad night (966)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?

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  (+44): PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end? http://tfl.nu/1yv9
  Replies (4) Good night (1652) Bad night (472)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.

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  (618): I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high. http://tfl.nu/waf9
  Replies (4) Good night (1657) Bad night (471)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.

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  (617): Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane. http://tfl.nu/ph9r
  Replies (11) Good night (3628) Bad night (513)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.

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  (218): Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off. http://tfl.nu/vd2r
  Replies (7) Good night (1083) Bad night (531)
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  (914): View more from New York

  low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..

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  (914): low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen.. http://tfl.nu/o2yv
  Replies (2) Good night (276) Bad night (577)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.

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  (512): The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting. http://tfl.nu/6bg7
  Replies (2) Good night (390) Bad night (217)

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