Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.

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  (323): WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag. http://tfl.nu/8spr
  Replies (6) Good night (1262) Bad night (2028)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper

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  (703): She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper http://tfl.nu/dnfr
  Replies (30) Good night (5495) Bad night (483)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.

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  (901): Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks. http://tfl.nu/cmzt
  Replies (21) Good night (711) Bad night (4575)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  You can't date a girl from every country.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm the captain planet of women

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  (678): You can't date a girl from every country. (770): I'm the captain planet of women http://tfl.nu/8wp1
  Replies (19) Good night (5003) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds

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  (303): dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds http://tfl.nu/9fcs
  Replies (19) Good night (1511) Bad night (4464)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie

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  (318): He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie http://tfl.nu/gshe
  Replies (10) Good night (929) Bad night (2743)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation

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  (352): Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation http://tfl.nu/era3
  Replies (4) Good night (3003) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.

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  (952): I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me. http://tfl.nu/xnge
  Replies (55) Good night (10575) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier

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  (918): Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier http://tfl.nu/54o9
  Replies (5) Good night (2428) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...

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  (803): He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not... http://tfl.nu/qcdb
  Replies (13) Good night (1655) Bad night (3006)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.

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  (503): There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to. http://tfl.nu/acu8
  Replies (7) Good night (2023) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.

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  (678): I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/j7y2
  Replies (4) Good night (2724) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  And your cock privileges have been revoked.

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  (778): Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck? (604): And your cock privileges have been revoked. http://tfl.nu/u4qr
  Replies (10) Good night (1075) Bad night (1652)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.

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  (250): we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time. http://tfl.nu/w6xu
  Replies (7) Good night (1424) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.

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  (828): We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it. http://tfl.nu/17vl
  Replies (5) Good night (1586) Bad night (262)

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