come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone