i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.