Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach

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(954): View more from Florida

I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Quick, to the slutcave!

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(256): View more from Alabama

As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(604): View more from British Columbia

People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.

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(210): View more from Texas

I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.

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(347): View more from New York

Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt

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