OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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