I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
