Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
