just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
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Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
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He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!