my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?