Yo dont text me then not text me
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
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He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
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And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.