You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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