We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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