Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.