The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
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It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
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I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.