I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Can vaginas get frostbite?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey