I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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