toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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