I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
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He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
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Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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