Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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