Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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