party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
