Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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