piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm really into asian looking animals
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
