Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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