I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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