I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
