Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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