I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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