I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
