we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
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She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
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Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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