so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
