Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
