Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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