omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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