I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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