My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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