More tranny stories later!
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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