So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i think my cat just said my name.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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