I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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