DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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