but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
did you just send me my own nude
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
