if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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