non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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