I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize