So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
