my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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