i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
