Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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