Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
