You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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