Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
