Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
