Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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