when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
