i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
