He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We need to rekindle our bromance
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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